Next week will be a weekend to remember. The day I turn 25 and the closing of a great chapter in my life.
My American Heart was everything to me. It was my world. It was really all I knew from the age 15 to today. The brothers who I created with and performed with day in and day out. The brothers I would share hotel beds with 200 days out of the year (if I was lucky enough to sleep on one). The brothers I would fight with about the littlest things. That was it for me.
Days like today I appreciate a little more. Waking up in my own bed, brewing a cup of coffee, reading e-mails and walking into my studio. This is mainly because of what I got to experience in those years of being in that band. I got to travel the world, see almost every State in the US. Before I was even 21, Visit Australia, play in Europe, Australia, and headline the UK. I even learned how to drive when I was 16 when they forced me to drive the 15 passenger van / double axel trailer in the middle of nowhere with no license.. I was scared shitless - But I learned with them.
I learned I could write songs and that I was a decent guitar player. I learned how to perform in front of crowds without analyzing every little move I made.. I learned how to just let go. And for that — I will forever be grateful.
Almost every single day I see people post “Just get back together.. Forever”. Well, I wish I could but realistically we.. Or maybe I, just can’t. I don’t have mom’s house to come back to after tour — Or have people paying for my meals and bills. I also just don’t think my mind could handle the tour life anymore (unless it was on a bus all the time). Our life on the road was special and I wouldn’t trade anything for the experiences. But we lived off of 10 dollars a day and per diems. Not as glamourous as many people think.
Anyway - I believe it’s time that I hang it up, and do it for good. I know we’ve played our farewell shows, Played a reunion and some acoustic shows, but these next two for me is it. We’ve hung on because we itch for that feeling of walking on and playing that first note and playing that last song. Honestly - that feeling of walking on stage to people who have been waiting to sing your songs back to you is better than any other I have felt in my life. But we can’t drag it on forever.
MAH will forever be inked on my skin - and I will have hundreds of stories to tell my kids (and they most likely won’t believe me). But that’s the best part. The things we saw. The things we did. I still can’t believe.
Catch us one last time and celebrate me being an old fart.
August 17th - SAN JOSE - The Rodeo Club
August 18th - POMONA - The Glasshouse
Photo: Felisha Tolentino